I think the more you run from facing a matter, might be a problem, might be the truth, might be an issue, the more it will pull you towards it. And I don't feel like running anymore. Not necessarily mean that I am courageous enough to face it. Honestly, right now, I'm terrified. Of the unknown. Of the decision I'm making.
But seeing how calm I am having to face this now, maybe it is worth trying? There is some part in me that is curious and thrilled on how this one would lead me to. But still I'm scared. There's a quote I've read that "If it makes you scared, then it is what you need to do". And I can't relate how does that makes sense in life? Does it sound like it makes sense? (And then I remembered that I hold to this one - Trust, even when it does not make sense - faith)
In just a short period of time, this unknowingly scene happened to me which I can't make sense at all. I would say this is too cliche. But, I would also say that the most important thing can't be told any less than cliche darling. It is how it work. You named it cliche, but that is how life works.
And I know when I can't make decision, I should make du'a. Prayers. A lot of it. I am not questioning why certain things happened to me anymore, rather than questioning, I would go searching for what does this trying to teach me. What is Allah trying to tell me? And it soothes me every time knowing that this should make me be a better version of myself.
I am confuse but I have Allah with me. Whatever He ease for me, then inshaAllah it is for the good of me. Honestly trying to console the heart is not easy, but you'll get through it by putting your trust in Him. The All Knowing.
I'll write more on how I discover of what does all this then bring me to (:
