I was feeling a bit anxious this morning, until now. Honestly, I would not know why was it that I am feeling this anxious. You know, your heart just at times skips a beat or two. Been days actually, do I need to do the ECG test to examine whether maybe I had some heart disease or something?
And as if putting the salt to the wound, I had argued with the cockroaches! Argh how frustrating. I have already a few times cleaned and do all the clean up things but they have come back! Before this, it is that giant size and now it is their children kot? all those little cockroaches made me even anxious. Hmm. I have plan this evening, later after work I will go to the Village Grocer and buy than pandan leaves or maybe anything that could help me get rid of the cockroaches. Once and forever! I am so tired, I can't handle things creeping or untidy or messy place. Sound particular, am I? It is different when it is your own place, you feel a lot more being owned to the responsibility. Alright, done that, I don't even know what am I rambling about. Eheh.
Thus, I still feel anxious. Maybe I have sinned and still, a lot. That is the most logical explanation I have come with so far. What should I do? To calm this heart. It just feel uneasy that it made me mentally and physically tired. Help.
Dzikrullah and all, I know those stuff. Maybe, it is not enough. I don't know. Some things, you just feel uneasy without reason. It is not that I don't trust Him and His plan. Maybe, it is because I am just a human being. And, it is normal to feel this way?
At times, I feel stuck. You can't expect me to always have that positive thoughts and mindset, right? Maybe, this is one of my days. The days that I feel negatively embedded in life. Maybe? Maybe today is the day that I should just breathe easy, and maybe just doing that. Just for today.
Lend me some of your prayers, I need it. My heart needs it. This heavy feeling that I am feeling, may it fades away.
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